Over the past few days as I've thought about writing on my blog, I've considered that I should change the name to something reflecting my new status as a stay-at-home mom and all the adventures that ensue. However, that status is not permanent and seeing a canvas photo of some brilliantly colored dahlias the other day reminded me that this title does in fact fit. I wish I had dahlias in every room of my house on a constant basis.
Anyways, back to the subject of my blog, I feel so out of practice. There are constantly words running through my head, but putting them down is a lot harder than it used to be. I was pretty excited when I sat down the other night and wrote the opening pages of a new book. I've had this book in the back of my mind for over a year and half. The main character was actually supposed to be the lead in a book I finished a while back. However, circumstances changed and as I was writing the story it didn't wind up going where I thought it would. Last year I attended a writer's workshop at a festival and the author speaking made the comment that inevitably a story is never what you set out thinking it will be. She also commented that generally the first 20k words you write will be thrown out, as you are literally just warming up. Well, the storyline changed in my previous book and this character didn't work anymore, but I just couldn't shake him. He's become the kind of character that keeps me up at night telling me his story and is waiting for me to start writing it. I thought sitting down the other night and beginning to type would get him to shut-up for a bit, but instead the words came quicker and I had to stop typing when the baby began to cry. He will have to wait for a bit longer, as his story will come in pages at a time instead of chapters, but it will eventually get told. Re-reading this paragraph, as I keep getting distracted by music on YouTube; I sound nuts. Not just nuts, but like the certifiable kind. At least I do if you aren't a writer.
Life for me is a work in progress. I'm beginning to find a balance to being a stay-at-home mom while incorporating parts of myself back into the equation. Trying to write is always a positive step, as I haven't written anything but blogs in over a year and even then it has only been like one a month. The other day I realized the baby had been quiet for over an hour and I was able to finish several excerpts from an anthology called Tablet & Pen. The anthology was a gift from one of my professors in lieu of a baby gift; she knew I needed my sanity more than burp cloths. Reading, underlining small things in pencil as I went and considering it afterwards almost made me feel like normal. I found that by the time my daughter cried out looking for me to hold her I was ready to transition back to mommy mode. If this is how my life is meant to go for now -- well, it could definitely be worse.
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